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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25412434">Shattered Dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celestial_Shadow/pseuds/Celestial_Shadow'>Celestial_Shadow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chapter 402 Spoilers, Kind of a happy ending I guess, Lots of Angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mentioned Hinata Shouyou, Mentioned Kageyama Tobio, Mentioned Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, iwaizumi is a good friend, mentioned sakusa kiyoomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:07:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,625</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25412434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celestial_Shadow/pseuds/Celestial_Shadow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The day that Aoba Johsai lost to Karasuno was the day Oikawa Tooru lost everything.</p><p>It hurts to see other people living out your dreams.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shattered Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I'm sorry, but your knee is permanently damaged. You won't be able to keep playing."</em>
</p><p>It was like the world had shattered as soon as Oikawa heard those words. Everything went silent, those two sentences ringing in his head over and over. </p><p>"-kawa-san? Oikawa-san can you hear me?" </p><p>Oikawa swallowed as he was snapped back into reality, he lifted his gaze to meet the doctor. </p><p>"Yes, sorry." He responded. Even to him, his voice sounded hollow and broken.</p><p>How was he supposed to achieve his dreams now?</p><p>The doctor shot Oikawa a sympathetic look, "I know it must be hard, taking the news, but that last fall when you crashed into the tables really damaged your kneecap more than it already was. If you keep playing it's only going to get worse." </p><p>Oikawa clenched his jaw, tears pricking the backs of his eyes as his throat stung. Why him? What terrible things had he done to insinuate this torture? </p><p>He had worked his entire life to become a professional volleyball player.</p><p>First it was Ushijima, who beat everyone in every aspect of volleyball. It was clear he had the talent and the massive potential to become one of the best players in the world. His nonchalant demeanor about his skill got on Oikawa's nerves. He spoke about it like it was no big deal, like he took it for granted when Oikawa had poured blood, sweat, and tears to get where he was today.</p><p>Then, it was Tobio. The little first-year genius setter that had been chasing after Oikawa since middle school. He too, was born with such a talent, and despite already being so much better than Oikawa, he still asked for help?</p><p>Oikawa had felt like he was being mocked.</p><p>This had been his last year- and his last chance- to get to Nationals. </p><p>All of his promises were broken.</p><p>He promised to himself that he was going to beat Ushijima and make it to Nationals this year.</p><p>He promised his friends.</p><p>His family.</p><p>His <em>team</em>.</p><p>What a shitty captain he was, huh? </p><p>He couldn't even give his team what they wanted.</p><p>Now, at the age of 27, he was forced to sit in the seats of the arena instead of standing in it. </p><p>He had to painfully watch what could have been. A reality he could have had if he just hadn't screwed up his knee.</p><p>Everything was his fault.</p><p>It was his fault that his team had lost to Karasuno. </p><p>It was his fault he wasn't playing in the national league for Argentina.</p><p><em>It was his fault</em> that Iwaizumi chose not to go pro, but instead study sports science so he could help other athletes with injuries like his own.</p><p>Iwaizumi said it was his own choice to choose this path, and in no way was Oikawa at fault, but Oikawa didn't believe that.</p><p>He knew that ever since they were young, the both of them dreamed of being on the same team together.</p><p>A setter and his ace, an unstoppable duo. </p><p>Oikawa had not heard <em>anything</em> about sports science from Iwaizumi before he injured his knee the first time.</p><p>After they had the discussion on what they were going to do in the future, they had lost connection with each other. Iwaizumi went off to California in the USA to study sports science, while Oikawa stayed in Japan.</p><p>After that last match with Karasuno, along with the news about his knee, Oikawa had changed.</p><p>His flashy, friendly personality was gone. All that had been left was the empty shell of what he used to be.</p><p>He watched as Tobio and Ushijima stood in a line on the court, facing the Argentinian team.</p><p>
  <em>The team he would have been on. </em>
</p><p>Alongside them was the orange-haired shrimp who Kageyama was always with in highschool, and Sakusa Kiyoomi, one of the top three aces for the youth division in the country.</p><p>Behind them, <em>behind the line of players</em> was Iwaizumi, a proud grin on his face, the Japan tag on the left side of his shirt.</p><p>Oikawa was happy that his childhood friend had done so well in life. He looked so happy… so pleased. </p><p>After the match, Oikawa stood outside the arena, about to head home, when he saw Iwaizumi standing not far from him, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, bag slung over his shoulder. Iwaizumi noticed him and stepped closer until they were facing each other.</p><p>“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi sent him a small smile. He didn’t miss the split second glance at his right knee. </p><p>The knee that had destroyed his career.</p><p>The knee that he always covered up with long pants because he didn’t want to look at it. </p><p>“Iwaizumi-san.” Oikawa responded. Iwaizumi sent him a sad smile at the loss of his old nickname. </p><p>“How are you doing? It’s been a while.” </p><p>Oikawa gritted his teeth. It <em>has</em> been a while. Nine years to be exact.</p><p>
  <em>Nine. Years.</em>
</p><p>“I’m fine. You seem to be doing well.” </p><p>“Yeah, I work for the national Japan team, so that’s pretty good I guess,” Iwaizumi nodded, his hand coming to rest on his neck. </p><p>“Um, do you want to go eat together, perhaps?  There’s a really good ramen shop about 15 minutes from here. Y’know, only if you want to.” Iwaizumi asked, a hopeful look in his eyes. </p><p>Oikawa swallowed. After everything that had happened, he really wanted to connect back together again? After Oikawa had ignored all of his calls and texts… After Oikawa had cut him and everyone else off....</p><p>“Sure,” He croaked. He felt like crying as they walked side by side, just like they used to. </p><p>Oikawa had forgotten how caring his friend was. Even if the other yelled at him and called him names, he knew that Iwaizumi had really cared. </p><p>He knew the other was also hurt when he stopped volleyball. </p><p>Stepping into the ramen shop brought back memories. Memories of coming to a different ramen shop with his team after their loss from Karasuno. </p><p>It was so long ago… but it reminded him once more of how he had lost everything from that one match. </p><p>Sometimes memories were the worst form of torture. </p><p>They sat in silence as they waited for their ramen to be ready. It was a little odd. They used to be able to fill the silence with playful banter and never ending jokes.</p><p>Now they didn’t even know where to begin.</p><p>“I missed you.” </p><p>“What?” Oikawa turned to look at Iwaizumi, unsure if he had heard correctly.</p><p>“I missed you. After we graduated you dropped off the face of the earth. None of us could contact you.” Iwaizumi looked at the table sadly, his fingers playing with the napkin. </p><p>Oikawa’s throat seized up once more. He looked down at his hands, suddenly unable to look at his former best friend. </p><p>He had been so wrapped up in his own pain he never really considered how others were feeling. He wondered how everyone was doing. Matsukawa and Hanamaki? Yahaba and Kyoutani? Kindaichi, Kunimi, and Watari? </p><p>Were any of them still playing? </p><p>“I’m sorry,” was all Oikawa could get out, wincing internally as he heard his voice break. His shoulders sagged and he swallowed painfully. Silence hung heavy in the air.</p><p>---</p><p>“The match was good today.” Oikawa whispered out as they exited the shop. Even though it hurt his heart, seeing the reality that could have been his own, the way everyone played came as a shock to him. It was easy to see everyone’s growth. </p><p>“Yeah, it was.” Iwaizumi sighed.</p><p>Oikawa reflected on the match, how the setter from the Argentinian side pulled off those flawless plays, how amazing Ushijima’s spikes were, and Tobio’s pin-point accurate sets. </p><p>It was a world that he had left behind, or rather… a world that had left him in the dust. </p><p>“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, “I hope you know I’m here for you, right? I always have been, and always will be.” </p><p>Oikawa’s breath came out in shudders, his jaw starting to tremble as the world became blurry with tears.</p><p>“It- it <em>hurts,</em> Iwa-chan.” Oikawa croaked out, his hands shaking. Iwaizumi pressed a warm, gentle hand to his back.</p><p>“It hurts to see them living the dream I could have had.” Oikawa looked up as the tears streamed down his face, watching the sky beginning to darken as the sun started to set. He heard Iwaizumi take a sharp inhale of breath. Oikawa hiccuped, shoulders shaking as he tried to calm himself. </p><p>“And it’s all my-”</p><p>
  <b>”Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”</b>
</p><p>Oikawa looked at the other man, confusion and shock etched onto his face.</p><p>“It was never your fault. Stop blaming yourself for something that happened NINE years ago!” Iwaizumi growled at him, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched, “It was an unfortunate event, okay? You hurt yourself, and you stopped playing, but where’s the Oikawa I knew that never gave up? Where’s the man who never let anyone stop him from doing what he wanted? Where’s the man with the passion, the determination, to keep looking forward?” </p><p>“That passion died when I stopped volleyball.” Oikawa muttered, kicking at a pebble on the ground. </p><p>“Then pick yourself back up and try again! Life is about looking forward, not behind.” </p><p>Oikawa clenched his fists as he mulled over Iwaizumi’s words.</p><p>
  <em>Life is about looking forward, not behind.</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi let out a sigh, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, if you let me.” </p><p>Oikawa snorted, “What, is that a marriage proposal, Iwa-chan?” </p><p>Iwaizumi sent him a soft smile, “there’s the Oikawa I know.” </p><p>Oikawa ducked his head, and for the first time in years…</p><p>A smile rested on his face.</p>
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